I feel floaty!
by Tatyana Witwicky
Summary: We've all been to the dentist...especially for those darn wisdom teeth...well, see the Autobot's reaction to a certain someone getting there's removed...plenty of confusion, for sure...


I had to do this one!

I am having my wisdom teeth removed soonly, so I figured why not write a one shot on it!

But since Tai is part robot, no need for her to have them removed, but you will see who the lucky person is. It'll be very humorous!

I own nothing!

Onward!

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I feel floaty...and stuff...

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Optimus Prime sat in the Recreational Room with his 'Granddaughter', a little X-Box femme named Sparrow, who was currently playing a game called Cooking Mama on Tatyana's hot pink DSi game console. She was very good at it, just like her mother.

Speaking of which. He then noticed that his daughter and Sam have been gone for hours. They left about ten in the morning to go to a place called the Dentist. After doing a quick scan on the internet, he found out it's a place where humans go to have their dentia examined. Or teeth. Before they left, Optimus noticed Sam's pulse was racing and he was perspiring more then he usually does. Which usually meant he was very nervous. What confused him even more was when their friend, a young man by the name of Sharsky, pulled up in an old Cadillac with Leo, and they climbed in, after waving goodbye to their guardians.

He found it very strange indeed.

It was around noon when he heard the screech of brakes and the squeak of her converse shoes. Sparrow perked up, dropping the DSi and scampered over to her Mom.

'Hey Dad!' She laughed as Sparrow clung to her leg happily.

'Hello sweetheart.' He smiled. 'How was your visit to the dentist?'

'Oh, it was fine...since some certain little femme snatched Mommy's DSi while she wasn't looking...' She gave Sparrow a playful glare who in turn clicked and made her optics real big. 'I just sat in the waiting room, reading a magazine about teeth for an hour and a half. Real exciting!' She looked up as her gruff looking guardian walked into the room, along the sweet little Bumblebee.

'Took your sweet time.' Barricade said gruffly. Tai flipped him off affectionately and turned back to her Dad.

'Well, guys...brace yourselves..what you are about to see is something that you will never forget...the dentist visit wasn't for me..or Sharsky...or Leo...it was for Sam..'

Bumblebee whirred in concern. Tai heled up her hands. 'Whoa, big guy! Don't panic! What he had done today is very normal and not dangerous or fatal or anything...he just had to have his wisdom teeth...' She tried to think of a better word then yanked out. 'Pulled...' She said, coming to a decision that that was the right word.

'Pulled? You mean removed?' Optimus asked in shock. Humans had teeth removed...intentionally!

'Oh yeah, Dad...teeth are very, very picky...if you don't take care of them, they will rot and fall out...see, even before I was part robot, I had amazing teeth..no cavities, no decay..and my wisdom teeth removal was quick and easy...but Sam's...well...' She couldn't help but chuckle at her cousins' expense. 'His wisdom teeth were what they call..impacted..' At the Bot's confused faces, she quickly explained. 'See, teeth usually grow in..this way..' She made 'straight' up and down movements with her hands. 'But impacted means they grow in this way...' She held her hands sideways. 'All four of his were impacted...so right now, he is...a little out of it...'

'A little out of it?' Barricade asked, raising an optic ridge.

'He's drugged out of his gourd..' Tai said casually. 'Alright, Leo...Sharsky...Bring him in!'

The two young men cazme into the room, walking very slowly. In the middle of them...was Sam. All of their optics widened at the sight of his face. His cheeks were so swollen that it didn't even look like him. His mouth was stuffed with numerous amount of cotton balls, already starting to turn red from the blood and saliva in his mouth. His head was on Leo's shoulder as he walked, making rather odd noises.

Looking up, a trail of red stained saliva sliding down his chin, he spotted Bumblebee and waved clumsily. 'Bee! Dude...when..when di'ya become twins?' He voice was slurred and muffled. 'Badass...ya know...you'd be the awesome twins...not the douche bag twin...or the complete...complete dumbass twin...'

Bee and Optimus glanced at one another in concern. The boy was completely drugged. Or drunk.

Sam then started giggling madly. 'Haha...I'm so wasted...' He turned to Leo, nearly bashing his head into his temple. 'Di..Did..I do anything stupid?'

Leo shook his head. 'Not this time, Dude.'

'Well, he did say he saw a minotaur in a tutu..' Sharsky pointed out, trying to support Sam's weight.

'Now that was just hilarious...' Tai chuckled.

'What did they do to him?' Optimus asked, kneeling down to take a good look at Sam.

'O to the P!' Sam laughed loudly. 'They...gave me this...this pill...man, I was so relaxed...then, then they put this mask on my nose...God, I was so floaty...! Float..Float..Floaty..float..' He laughed as he sang his little tune.

'Sam...you are very high.' Tai said in a stern voice. 'It's time for sleepy now! So you will snap out of this and be back to your normal spazzy self with a swollen face!'

'Good plan..Tai-dye...' He slurred out. 'Tai...you are...seriously, like...my twin brother...with boobs...' Barricade and Bumblebee couldn't help but find that visual funny and slightly creepy. 'That's flattering, Sam...now come on.' Tai started leading him to her apartment for him to crash on the couch.

'Wait!' Sam exclaimed. 'Tai...c..could you change the cotton in my mouth?'

'What?' Tai asked, really hoping he was joking.

'I can't sleep with blood soaked cotton in my mouth...please?' He asked, holding up a big bag of large cotton balls.

'Ugh..Sam, can't you do it yourself?' Tai asked in despair. Optimus couldn't help but grin very slightly.

'My hand looks flip..flippin' huge...I'm frightened...please?'

Tai rolled her eye and optic. 'Fine...let me get some gloves...' A couple minutes later, she sat Sam on the couch. She could feel three pairs of optics watching her.

'Okay, here I go...' She shuddered as Sam opened his mouth. She cringed when she felt the squishy, warm cotton in her fingers as she pulled it out of his mouth. The sight of the cotton ball all soaked in blood and spit made the three robots cringe in disgust.

'Oh god, it's warm...' Tai whined. 'I didn't want it to be warm..' She paused when she felt something hit her glove. Looking down, she shrieked slightly when she saw the slimy string of bloody saliva stuck to her glove. 'Oh that is so nasty!' she exclaimed, tossing the last of the cotton balls into the garbage can.

'Alright, there!' She pulled the gloves off hurriedly and tossed them. 'Nice cleans balls in your mouth!'

'Giggity...' Sam slurred out, collapsing sideways on the couch in the Recreational room.

'Even in a drug induced state, you make everything I say sound sexual..' Tai rolled her eyes and stalked out of the room. She needed some serious Jazz time.

Looking down at the sleeping boy, Barricade started to stalk out of the room. 'Well, I can tell you one thing...'

'What's that?' Bumblebee asked.

'I'm glad I didn't take him...blood is a tough stain to get out...'

Optimus was about to nod in agreement when he suddenly had a thought.

How in the name of Primus would he know about that?

xxx

HAH! Done!

Not the best but hey, I laughed!

Review!


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